Embracing Starting Over: Transforming and Revamping for Positive Change

Haven's Lighthouse

If you are a returning or new reader, you will see a massive gap in the blog posts. What can I say? Life happens. Our focus changes, our lives change, our habits, and our passions. And you know what? It's all okay. Many amazing things have come from the trial-and-error process, and I hope this is one of them. I lost control of the wheel of blog writing, social media, and content creation, but now I'd like to hop back in the driver's seat and see where this takes us, dear reader. 

So, in the spirit of changing lanes, revamping, and starting over, I'd like to discuss embracing transformation. In the ever-evolving landscape of life, there comes a time when we find ourselves at a crossroads, contemplating the need for a fresh start or a complete revamp. Whether it's a personal endeavor, a creative project, or a business venture, the journey of revitalization can lead to newfound passion, innovation, and success.

We are going on this ride together; at some point, we all want or need change, and that journey is collective. Dear reader, I hope you will strap in and enjoy being a passenger princess/prince/prinx as we navigate the twists and turns of embracing transformation through change, fear, positivity, reflections, and all that good stuff.

The Need for Change: 

That's it. Change. It is the one thing that is constant, like it or not. Every single one of us has gone through change and will go through it again. It's part of the human experience. I know, I know, but allow me a moment to elaborate.  

I did not plan to jump into business entrepreneurship, lady boss, content creator, social media manager, billing, or service provider so quickly, but I had two choices. Return to burning myself out or doing the scary thing to see if I could succeed. And I did. My business is doing well. But there were a lot of potholes along the way. I only knew a little about the business side of private practice, billing, and creating a social media presence. I craved more in my Piscean heart and head (yes, there still will be woo-woo elements to my posts). With my therapist's help, I have discovered that I tend to have my head in the clouds. I have 10,000 ideas floating in my head, but unfortunately, the spirit is willing, and the flesh is very weak. I wanted to do everything but needed the knowledge base and the energy to make the ideas a reality.

So, I had to scale back. I stripped down all the accessories and just went with the basic entrepreneur package. Little by little and with the help of many friends and professionals, I decided this was where I would start adding more back in. I revamped the look of my website and decided to add what I was afraid of being judged for, and I feel good about the decision.

If you are interested, I have added two resource pages, one for clinicians and one for clients/individuals, so please look around; maybe you find something that helps or inspires you.

That's why I do what I do. I want to help. But as I tell others, it starts with you. So, it starts with me. I have changed thus my presence (social media and otherwise) must change too. We get to change. We get to improve as we learn and grow. We get to respond to the ever-changing environment around us. More will come, and I hope others will go with me and continue enjoying the ride. Still strapped in? Good. This part gets scary.

Acknowledge the Fear:

Starting over or revamping often involves stepping into the unknown, which can be daunting. Is it absolutely terrifying to change, to do something different? Yes. But do you know what is even more frightening? Staying the same or going back to what you know and being miserable.

I was paralyzed with fear about being an entrepreneur. What do I do? How would I survive? Would I be able to pay my bills? I swear the fear would swallow me whole, but the idea of having to go back terrified me more. My mental and physical health were severely impacted from what I was doing before.

So, I decided to get curious and started asking questions to others in the mental health space, reading articles, watching entrepreneur videos, and doing more localized research for my state's requirements. Let's not forget the most important thing was asking friends, family, and colleagues for support.

Slowly, I realized it was manageable. It is a matter of taking some form of action. Sometimes, that looks like sitting on your butt and watching YouTube videos, reading blog posts (wink, wink), making phone calls, and sending emails. Every small action gets you on the road.

It reminds me of a wise, old green guru who once said. "Do or Do Not. There is no try." Ten points to my Star Wars fans who get that reference.

So Fellow Padawan, what is it you fear? What small actions can you take?

Reflect and Learn: 

As you sip on your favorite beverage in the passenger seat. I want to ask you to reflect. What experiences have you had, both successes and failures? What lessons have you learned from both on the way? I bet if you dig deep, you find that it has informed your path thus far, and you can take those lessons to inform the next steps as well, or in our case, the next off-ramp we want to explore. Reflection is a crucial part of the revamping or starting over process that provides clarity and direction.

Define Your Vision:

Having a clear vision is paramount whether you're starting over or revamping. What do you want to achieve? What values will guide your decisions?

One of the most practical tips I can offer is to use your imagination. Silly, right?! It is a technique used in Brief Solution Focused Therapy (yes, mental health stuff, yay!) It's called the Miracle Question. What would your life look like if you woke up tomorrow and had everything you needed or wanted? Go big or go home, in this case. I'm talking about the mansions, the cars, the partners, the roles, the jobs. This gives insight into our real hopes, dreams, desires, and values. Once you become clear on those, the next part is bringing one teeny tiny element into your current reality. 

So, my miracle question life looked like making a good livable wage where I can have what I need and want with more autonomy over my time. (It may have also included Henry Cavill, but that is another blog post for another day.) My first tiny step towards a good livable wage and more time autonomy was revamping my website. Now, I'm working on this blog. Mile One and Two in the books.

How about your turn? Close your eyes and picture life with everything you ever wanted and needed. What does that look like for you?

Embrace Change with Enthusiasm:

We talked about the scary side of change, but there is a fun side of change, too. Enthusiasm and positivity can turn challenges into opportunities. Life is supposed to be fun. Let's enjoy the journey, not just the destination. Look at us having a little bit of fun on this ride.

Excuse me while I turn into your beloved woo-woo auntie for a moment and discuss how having a positive mindset can play a crucial role in overcoming challenges and achieving success.

• For your Mind: Positivity enhances cognitive flexibility and creative thinking. It allows you to focus on the solution, not the problem. Some problems require out-of-the-box thinking; when you are pessimistic, you just see a dumb box. 

• For your Emotions: Positive emotions counteract stress and anxiety, which creates an emotional balance that allows for more precise decisions and more straightforward navigation of the potholes. 

• For your physical health, it can lower stress hormones, reduce inflammation, and improve heart health while increasing energy levels and resiliency. 

• For your Adaptability: Positive mindsets also allow for adaptability making it easier to see the opportunities and growth even when the obstacles seem insurmountable, like following the semi hauling a large load of giant wood logs. (iykyk).

• For your Relationships: Another beautiful aspect is the ripple effect it has in our relationships as it makes us more approachable, supportive, and collaborative, providing encouragement and assistance when we need it most.

I just threw a lot at you, so take a few minutes with that, and I'll keep driving a little more. 

Let your auntie share something else with you. Anxiety and excitement feel the exact same in the body, but it's the individual's mindset that determines the outcome.

I was terrified of presenting to an almost 100-person crowd with my first big girl job. Still, I had an excellent cheerleading squad in my corner, and I chose to believe them. Did I stutter and stammer? Yes, but did I get the information across? Also, yes. Did I learn my cadence and add some personality to my presentation that made it more fun and adaptable? Obviously yes. All of this came from telling myself I was excited rather than anxious. I changed to a positive mindset and worked on my adaptability, which has led to remarkable outcomes. It also created a PowerPoint Presentation Monster. Potentially a shameless plug? Yeah, why not? Go big or go home, remember? Your auntie has left the chat.

Set Realistic Goals:

Building an empire takes one brick, course, website, and blog post at a time. We need little bite size, manageable goals. What road trip doesn't have pit stops or mini excursions along the way? So, we know where we want to go, but how do we get there? We create our roadmap and little adventures along the way. It provides small victories and a sense of accomplishment with each milestone achieved. Setting realistic goals along the way offers steady progress and boosts motivation.

That being said, we need gas, and a bathroom break, and please remember the snacks! 

Cultivate Resilience:

Got your snacks? Good, let's get back on the road. Wait, the tire pressure sensor is on, better check the tires.

Revamping or starting over may come with setbacks, and resilience is key. I planned to complete everything, including this blog post, by February 1st, 2024. It is not February 1st. Life takes us on detours. Those detours take us to the most scenic views, fun experiences, and meaningful connections that create lasting memories. Let's face it, dips in motivation happen too. Momentum slows when it's cold and the holiday credit card bills are coming due. But I recognized this was only temporary, so I let the car warm up and got back on the road.

Just like our little break for gas and snacks, metaphorically and sometimes physically speaking, we must stretch and flex our muscles to achieve our plans and goals. Flexibility also means your goals can change, too. As a kid, I wanted to be a ballerina, an architect, and an interior designer. It turns out I can't draft to save my life. Goals change, and it is okay!

Facing the challenges, reaching out to your people, and, most importantly, being kind to yourself are key. I know it's cliché, but transformation is not a sprint; it's a marathon. Maintaining a long-term perspective and good, healthy self-care is vital. That fact remains, you are now reading this post and on this adventure with me, which means I did it. Another mile down.

Celebrate Progress

Acknowledge and celebrate small victories along the way. These milestones are indicators of progress and can serve as motivation to continue the journey. You, dear reader, the fact you are reading this is a celebratory moment for me, and I thank you. I did the hard, awkward, embarrassing thing. If it reaches one person, and they get something out of it, even an eye roll or a small nugget of motivation; it's all been worth it to me. Despite your response, this has been invigorating and inspiring. I want to write more! I hope this gets you thinking of your little victories. What can you celebrate along the way? 

Thank you for joining me

As this part of the ride ends, I want to reiterate in the journey of transformation, revamping, or starting over, the only limit is the one we place on ourselves. Whether you're revitalizing a project, pursuing personal growth, or reshaping a business, the process is an art that can lead to transformative outcomes. Embrace change, find a way to see some positive aspects, adapt, learn from the past, and forge ahead with a renewed sense of purpose.

Thank you for coming on this little ride with me. I hope we both can continue to grow, change, adapt, and have a little fun along the way.

I encourage you, dear reader, to share your stories and ask questions about revamping or starting over in the comments. I want this community to be kind and supportive and inspire each other on their respective journeys. Thank you to those who share and offer support.